Horrific Holiday Music For the Jaded Masses, Volume One

by One Hell of a Christmas!!!

supported by
Maxuxx I
Maxuxx I thumbnail
Maxuxx I The best Christmas album in existence, period! Favorite track: Auld Lang Syne.
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $6.99 USD  or more

     

1.
2.
03:34
3.
01:56
4.
5.
04:22
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

about

Tired of the same old Christmas songs poisoning the radio throughout the month of December? Then stop by and have "One Hell of a Christmas!"

We're horrible people and even worse musicians. We think we should be number one on the charts, but instead we're actually number one on the naughty list.

(WARNING: Contains explicit content, and adult language.)

credits

released November 4, 2013

Kenny Krampus
"Evil Elf" Eddie
Furious Frosty
"Rock Goddess" Rudolphia
Santa "the Shredder"
"Malicious Mistletoe" Michelle

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

One Hell of a Christmas!!! Hawaii

We came to life in 2007 as a result of a coal mine explosion in the North Pole that wiped out almost the entire population. We, the remaining 6 survivors, banded together and decided to create horrible Christmas music that would last forever and ever. Santa and Mrs. Claus were very, very proud of us, making us the official Band of the North and South Pole! ... more

contact / help

Contact One Hell of a Christmas!!!

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Bah, Humbug!
Bah, humbug to you!
Only idiots will say "you're a fool"
I hate the Xmas season more than Ebenezer Scrooge
So here's a Bah, humbug to you!

Never liked this time of year
Bogus gifts and phony cheers
Can't wait 'till it disappears
Welcome to December 1
Where the roads and stores are cursed
Patience is about to burst
Xmastime is overrated
Every year I become more jaded
Think I should've hibernated
You know I always find it funny
How much people waste their money
On annoying gifts for their annoying honey

Bah, humbug to you!
Only idiots will say "you're a fool"
I hate the Xmas season more than Ebenezer Scrooge
So here's a Bah, humbug to you!

Zombies in the shopping mall
Bang their heads against the wall
Overcrowd the big and tall
Plastic toys and waterguns
Earrings worth a million
Counting sheep is lots of fun
If you're on the business end
Charge them 'till they've nothing to spend
Credit them for their love of trends
The vicious cycle carries on
From now until the world is gone
Time to escape this mess, come on!

Bah, humbug to you!
Only idiots will say "you're a fool"
I hate the Xmas season more than Ebenezer Scrooge
So here's a Bah, humbug to you!
Track Name: Krampus
"Attention boys and girls, don't end up on the naughty list this year!
Or you'll get a visit from our one and only friend from the South Pole....
KRAMPUS!!!"

My name is Krampus, and I don't fuck around
If you misbehave, then I'll beat you to the ground
I'll poke you with my horns on both sides of your ass
So watch what you say and change your attitude real fast
You ask for presents, well I've got one for you
I'll slam you against the wall and make your body black and blue
I'll put you on a skateboard and roll you down the hill
Throw banana peels on the road, oh what a thrill

Forget about Santa Claus this year
I'm the one that you'll have to fear
Wipe away those crocodile tears
Or you'll get a beaten in your rear

Krampus, he'll make your holiday a living
Krampus, he'll make your holiday a living
Krampus, he'll make your holiday a living hell

Don't try to run away, I'll get you from behind
You can't outsmart me, I'm a hellish mastermind
Even if you hide, I'll know exactly where you are
I'll find you in the trash can or the trunk of your own car
So learn your lesson well, and tell it to your friends
You don't want to spend the day with a bruise on your rear end
Go make your list up and send it to the North Pole
And I'll be the judge on who's the real asshole

Forget about Santa Claus this year
I'm the one that you'll have to fear
Wipe away those crocodile tears
Or you'll get a beaten in your rear

Krampus, he'll make your holiday a living
Krampus, he'll make your holiday a living
Krampus, he'll make your holiday a living hell

"Happy heretic holiday season, for all my fellow heathens!"

Krampus, he'll make your holiday a living
Krampus, he'll make your holiday a living
Krampus, he'll make your holiday a living hell
Track Name: Have Yourself a Very Naughty Christmas
Have yourself a very naughty Christmas
Do it by the fire
Hang a mistletoe in every room you see
Have an orgy downstairs in the basement
Make drinks with Spanish Fly
For the night you'll satisfy your carnal needs

Getting happy on a waterbed
As you're getting head, how nice
Flip her over and put it in
An evening full of sin and vice

If you have time, endure a little whipping
The dominatrix smiles
Who cares if they think that it's filthy and vile?
Have yourself a very naughty Christmas all the while

When it's over, smoke a little hookah
Use your favorite pipe
From now on, frustrations will be miles south
And have yourself a very naughty Christmas now